"...If I Knew You're Were Normal / I'da Baked A Cake / Baked A Cake / Baked A Cake..."

Following up on a topic from this past Sunday's (3/29) show.....

We were talking about the legislation passed in Indiana and, regardless of good intentions and their noted use as a paving material, the mess that has been made of it.

After the show, I realized that there was a very simple bottom line that I wished I had offered up during the program.

To paraphrase Dionne Warwick, though, that's what blogs are for.

Complexities and complications, mostly of our own making, admittedly, notwithstanding, the easiest illustration available of the "ludicrousity" of this "law" (yes, we know ludicrousity isn't really a word, but a law coated in this much dark humor merits a W.C. Fields-ish grammatical style) was that of the bakery that would refuse to bake and/or sell a cake to a gay couple because it would violate their (the bakery's) religious beliefs.

As I began rolling the available punchlines around in my head, searching for just the right combination of not too many / not too few words to bring that point around third and sprinting for home, Facebook friend, and hip shooter, actress Marsha Warfield to the rescue.

(NOTE: the following literal quote is rated "R", not suitable for people who are having a hard time with the common vocabulary of the 21st century)

"....How the fuck does cake "burden your religious beliefs?"

How?

It's fucking cake....."

Ladies and gentlemen, the insightful, albeit less than subtle, philosophical stylings of Marsha Warfield.

To which I have just three things to add.

First, somehow, as we Earthlings are wont to do, in all of this spewing and sputtering and indignation, generic, and self, righteous, we seem to have made an error in connective logic. Providing someone with a piece of pastry does not imply, indicate, mandate, support and/or endorse the beliefs, values, opinions, activities and/or lifestyles of the person or persons provided with said pastry.

Second, despite lingering superstitions and misconceptions, homosexuality is not contagious and cannot be contracted through accidental physical contact, say, for example, a heterosexual making unintended contact of any kind with a homosexual while handing said homosexual a cake box.

Third?

Yeah...what she said.

Oh...and not for nothin', but one piece of the Rubik's Cube of Christian Expression that I can't seem to lock into place.

Refusing to simply bake someone a cake.

Because they are homosexual.

Ergo, judged not worthy and/or deserving of and/or entitled to having a cake baked for them.

The key word there, of course, being "judged".

As in..."judge not...." and all that.

Hmmm.

If it walks like a judgement.

And quacks like a judgment.

Doesn't take a Rhodes scholar to connect the dots.

Anyone can do it.

Piece of cake.