Oh, not the following breaking entertainment report.
The good news comes after that.
But, first...
Saturday Night Live has had some fun mocking Donald Trump recently, but now it will truly play the Trump card this election season.
The leading contender for the Republican presidential nomination will host SNL on Nov. 7, NBC announced on Tuesday.
Sia will serve as the show’s musical guest. Trump previously hosted the late-night variety/sketch series in 2004.
The gig marks another return to NBC for Trump, who hosted The Apprentice for a decade before the network cut ties with him earlier this year. He appeared on The Tonight Show last month and has given interviews on Meet The Press.
Democratic hopeful Hillary Clinton popped up on the Oct. 3 show of SNL, playing opposite Clinton impersonator Kate McKinnon.
Okay.
Let's not waste any time or synaptic matter bothering with even contemplating, let alone discussing, the FCC Equal Time thing that opens the door for any announced candidate to demand his or her right to host this show.
After all, that candy ass business of trying to establish some sort of protocol or level playing field in the wild and woolly game show that American presidential elections have become has gone the way of the Betamax and New Coke.
Instead, let's just contemplate, for a minute or two, how far the empire has fallen with this latest mutation of pop culture meets politics. ("Empire" in this case, of course, referring to the United States of America and "fallen", referring, of course, to the historical narrative entitled "The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire"...)
First, in the interest of both full disclosure and self defense, allow me to offer the following answer to the question I'm sure occurs to a reasonable number of people experiencing my opinion here.
Yes, thanks for asking, as a matter of fact, I do have a sense of humor, I do appreciate good satire, I do respect those who are able to laugh at themselves and I do, I so do, approach most everything in this life with a "hey, lighten the fuck up" attitude.
So stuff your "lighten up, dudes" in a sack, mister...or missy.
I get that modern politics necessitates a certain amount of envelope pushing when it comes to being not only relevant and relatable to not only the "establishment", whatever the hell that is anymore, but also to the youngers, the future movers and shakers and, God help us, leaders of this country who will in another eight or twelve or sixteen or twenty years, give or take, be stepping up to take a shot at taking a shot running the US of A.
Or what's left of it in eight or twelve or sixteen or twenty years, give or take.
The 18-39 year olds demographic is the holy grail in the land of advertising and so its only natural that shows like SNL would bypass any sense of, well, no, actually make that just any sense and sell their mama if they could get a Donald to actually host an entire show.
And the "dumbing down" of political appearances is nothing new. Just last week, Hillary did a fun cameo as a barkeep, batting the old banter birdie with Amy Schumer.
Bill Clinton played a saxophone on Aresenio Hall a long time ago.
And a long, LONG time ago, on a 23 inch tube console far, far away, a normally uptight, stick placed expertly and permanently up the ass Richard Nixon took a pass at being hip and groovy with a four second appearance on THE comedy show of the late sixties, Laugh In.
And the Donald did a hosting stint eleven years ago.
When he was just an uber wealthy, real estate mogul/doofus.
As opposed to the uber wealthy, real estate mogul/doofus/leading candidate for the GOP nomination for President of the United States that he has become.
Or mutated into.
Six of one.
I'm the first guy to shove to the front of the line and the head of the crowd and offer up that we need to maintain, always, our senses of humor in this world. We live in serious, dangerous, often dark times and our ability to keep our wits about us often depends on our ability to keep our wit about it.
Lighten the heavy load and all that Hallmark card/Deepak Chopra yada yada.
But here's a thing.
We've ALWAYS lived in serious, dangerous, often dark times and our ability to keep our wits with a little help from our wit has always been balanced, within reasonable parameters, with all the other qualities necessary to maintain both our place in the pecking order and the perception that other nations, both friendly and not so much, have of us.
Donald Trump hosting an entire episode of a globally broadcast comedy satire show is not the modern equivalent of, say, Jack Kennedy having been convinced in 1960 to appear as The Continental, offering one sassy secretary or another a fine glass of "sham-pahnya" in the spirit of naughty, but family friendly, fun.
It is more like seriously considering electing Conan O'Brien President of the United States.
When the nominating and the voting and inaugurating is all done, we really do need to have a leader representing us in the serious, dangerous, often dark world.
One who arrives at history making meetings in a limousine.
Not a clown car. (Cue: HONK HONK)
Oh...and I didn't forget.
I promised good news.
We no longer have to worry about whether or not the other nations of the world respect our position, style, grace and qualities of statesmanship and leadership.
Because they don't.
"....Ladies and gentlemen..........the President of the United States......LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE from New York! It's Saturday NIIIIIGHT!"......
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